Monday, August 18, 2008

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, “This Is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are Received.” I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.” I noticed again, how busy it was. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section”, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. “How is it that there is no work going on here?” I asked. ”So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.”

“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?” I asked. “Simple,” the angel answered. Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked. “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy. And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”

“Also, if you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 700 million people in the world. If you can attend a church/temple/mosque without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.”

“If your parents are still alive and still married, you are very rare. If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.”

Ok, what now? How can I start?

“If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good year ahead, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN:
Acknowledge Dept.: “Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.”

One Liners

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter

There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may
never piss this way again."

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

Santa

Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .

He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Santa thinks "how poetic"
Santa says, "pass the custard you bastard".
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Preeto was about to give birth to a baby.

Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.

Preeto : If it looks like you, it would be a miracle