In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.
The increased electricity used by modern appliance parts is causing a shift in the Earth's magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
The idea for "tribbles" in "Star Trek" came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.
Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.
Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.
Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there's no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.
Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say "gesundheit" to a sneezer was never repealed.
Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don't do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.
SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.
Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.
Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender's system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.
Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.
The first McDonald's restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.
The Air Force's F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.
You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.
Silly Putty was "discovered" as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It's not widely publicized for obvious reasons.
Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.
The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.
The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.
A cat's purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.
The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his "signature" on the keyboard.
The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.
Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.
In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.
Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.
Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.
Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.
Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.
You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.
To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.
Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don't play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.
A dog's naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.
A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one's nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.
Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden's headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.
Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.
At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.
Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.
If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.
Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.
Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost "an arm and a leg."
When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.
Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.
Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.
If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.
In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models' turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.
Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.
Napoleon's favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.
The world's smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.
Due to the natural "momentum" of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.
In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.
The "nine lives" attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.
The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.
The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry
Saturday, December 10, 2011
2 Tough Questions
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first… no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Remember:
Amateurs…built the ark.
Professionals…built the Titanic
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first… no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Remember:
Amateurs…built the ark.
Professionals…built the Titanic
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Never Fail To Make An Attempt
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Just like these elephants, many of us were brought up with a false self-limiting belief of some sort – ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘why try if I am not going to make it’, or ‘success, riches & freedom are for the chosen ones’, ‘entrepreneurship is not for me’, ‘I’m only destined to do a job I hate & pay the bills’ and many more versions of this same belief that underestimates the capability, talent, and potential within us.
Your Attempt May Fail But Never Fail To Attempt
Longest Words
The longest word in standard English dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis at 45 letters long.
The longest English word that does not contain the letter 'e' is floccinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters.
Cabbaged and fabaceae, each 8 letters long, are the longest words that can be played on a musical instrument.
Aegilops, 8 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in alphabetical order.
Spoonfed, 9 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in reverse alphabetical order.
CIMICIC and CIMICID, each 7 letters long, are the longest words that are exclusively made up of Roman numerals when written in upper case. Among words consisting of only Roman numeral letters, the "highest scoring" are MIMIC (2,102) and IMMIX (2,012).
Overnumerousnesses, 18 letters long, is the longest word that consists of only letters that lack ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.
Lighttight and hillypilly, each 10 letters long, are the longest words consisting only of letters with ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.
Tittifill, 9 letters long, is the longest word consisting only of letters with ascenders or dots in lower case.
Honorificabilitudinitatibus, 27 letters long, is the longest word consisting strictly of alternating consonants and vowels.
Dermatoglyphics, misconjugatedly and uncopyrightable , each 15 letters long, are the longest words in which no letter appears more than once.
Unprosperousness, 16 letters long, is the longest word in which each letter occurs at least twice.
Esophagographers, 16 letter long, is the longest word in which each of its letters occurs twice.
Discrete - discreet is the longest homophonic anagram (2 similarly pronounced words that are spelled differently but sound the same and are composed of the same letters).
Redivider is the longest common palindromic word ( a word reading the same backwards and forwards).
The longest words that are reverse images of each other are stressed and desserts .
The longest English word that does not contain the letter 'e' is floccinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters.
Cabbaged and fabaceae, each 8 letters long, are the longest words that can be played on a musical instrument.
Aegilops, 8 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in alphabetical order.
Spoonfed, 9 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in reverse alphabetical order.
CIMICIC and CIMICID, each 7 letters long, are the longest words that are exclusively made up of Roman numerals when written in upper case. Among words consisting of only Roman numeral letters, the "highest scoring" are MIMIC (2,102) and IMMIX (2,012).
Overnumerousnesses, 18 letters long, is the longest word that consists of only letters that lack ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.
Lighttight and hillypilly, each 10 letters long, are the longest words consisting only of letters with ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.
Tittifill, 9 letters long, is the longest word consisting only of letters with ascenders or dots in lower case.
Honorificabilitudinitatibus, 27 letters long, is the longest word consisting strictly of alternating consonants and vowels.
Dermatoglyphics, misconjugatedly and uncopyrightable , each 15 letters long, are the longest words in which no letter appears more than once.
Unprosperousness, 16 letters long, is the longest word in which each letter occurs at least twice.
Esophagographers, 16 letter long, is the longest word in which each of its letters occurs twice.
Discrete - discreet is the longest homophonic anagram (2 similarly pronounced words that are spelled differently but sound the same and are composed of the same letters).
Redivider is the longest common palindromic word ( a word reading the same backwards and forwards).
The longest words that are reverse images of each other are stressed and desserts .
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Innocent Letter..........
A Nun asked her class to write notes to God.
Here are some they handed in:
**********
Dear God :
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.
**********
Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?
**********
Dear God :
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.
**********
Dear God:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
**********
Dear God :
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
**********
Dear God:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
**********
Dear God :
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
**********
Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
**********
Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
**********
Dear God:
Who draws the lines around the countries?
**********
Dear God :
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
**********
Dear God:
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
**********
Dear God:
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.
**********
Dear God:
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
**********
Dear God:
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
**********
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
**********
Dear God :
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
**********
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
**********
Dear God :
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
**********
Dear God:
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.
**********
Dear God :
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.
*********************************
Here are some they handed in:
**********
Dear God :
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.
**********
Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?
**********
Dear God :
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.
**********
Dear God:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
**********
Dear God :
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
**********
Dear God:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
**********
Dear God :
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
**********
Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
**********
Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
**********
Dear God:
Who draws the lines around the countries?
**********
Dear God :
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
**********
Dear God:
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
**********
Dear God:
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.
**********
Dear God:
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
**********
Dear God:
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
**********
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
**********
Dear God :
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
**********
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
**********
Dear God :
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
**********
Dear God:
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.
**********
Dear God :
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.
*********************************
Barber Shop!!!!!!!!!!!!
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2
hours."
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How
long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill,
do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't
ever come back."
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said,
"Your house!"
A Beautiful Story...........
An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you from here."
Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Top 10 Reasons We Should Revive the Dark Ages
First off, I must apologize for using the term “dark ages”, as it is a false term coined in the post-medieval period to cast aspersions over the middle ages. The dark ages were not dark – they were, in fact, a great time to live. I am a medievalphile, and suffer from hesternopothia so this list should come as no surprise! Here, we look at ten differences between then and now that are (subjectively of course) better than today. I expect this will probably be a controversial list, so do be sure to keep your comments friendly!
10
Low Tax
The tax rates in medieval England varied a lot, depending on the King and what was happening in society. The taxes seldom went above 15% but were more often closer to the 10% mark. For most people today this is nearly one third or half of the tax currently being paid. The taxes went to support the military and the King, and even in times of war the taxes were never excessive. Taxes were usually paid based on the quantity of land you owned, so people like serfs were often exempt from national taxes and paid, instead, tithes in the form (usually) of wheat to their land owners.
9
Great Lifestyle
We all know the Middle Ages had a more obvious separation of classes. However, regardless of which class you were in, you would have lived a better lifestyle. By “better” I mean healthier and easier. If you were an aristocrat you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. You would eat delicious food all the time, and would have plenty of activities to keep you occupied. On the other hand, if you were a serf, you would work your fields during the summer months and laze about during the winter months enjoying your harvests (after the taxes you pay to your land owner). The only real requirement as a serf was that you pay your tithes (usually in wheat) and do a few other odd jobs, but, aside from that, you could do anything you wanted with your land, and the land owner had to guarantee you protection from criminals and provide for you in times of famine. Some serfs became incredibly wealthy through the wise use of their land.
8
Crime
The middle ages knew roughly 5 serial killers. Most of you will be able to name three of them: Elizabeth Bathory, Gilled de Rais and Sawney Bean (who may not have existed at all). Now try to name as many serial killers from the modern ages that you know. A lot more I bet. There were definitely a lot of murders in the Middle Ages, but the chances of the average person being a victim of murder were low. Murderers were tried and executed, and those who committed petty crimes were usually publicly shamed or fined. The stories we hear of people’s hands being cut off for stealing were usually from Eastern countries, or were during the very early years of the Middle ages, when Europe was establishing itself into the formation we generally know it today.
7
No Lobbyists
Unlike most of our countries today, there were no lobbyists, and governments (mostly ruled over by Kings) were not prone to switching policies every other year. In our current system we can expect to see fairly drastic changes to the laws under which we live every few years – in the Middle ages you had the same law (with a few exceptions) for most of your life. Life under a benevolent King was good for law abiding citizens, and you knew that unless the King was old, sick, or off fighting a war, tomorrow would be the same as today. This stability is something most of us have never known, so it can be hard to appreciate how much better it was than the present systems which have given rise to all manner of bizarre ideas such as the fart tax.
6
Money was Money
Since the end of the gold standard, money has become more a concept than a reality. In the Middle Ages, money was money. If you had gold, you had gold. Today’s monetary systems are largely controlled by the International Monetary Fund, and the ability of a nation to print money on demand has caused the recent devaluation of many currencies. The old adage says money doesn’t grow on trees – but, unfortunately, modern governments don’t know it. Food prices were relatively constant (with the exception of times of famine and during the price revolution), and people didn’t need to spend half their income paying off debts for things they didn’t need. In fact, society took a great turn for the worse in the so-called renaissance, which started a smear campaign against the Medieval feudal system in order to gain support for the new capital-based system. An economy based on production was replaced by an economy based on how much gold the King released to the public. Here is a quote from Life Inc: How Corporatism Conquered the World, and How We Can Take It Back.
“Land was no longer a thing the peasants could grow stuff on, land became an investment, land became an asset class for the wealthy. Once it became an asset class they started Partitioning and Enclosure, which meant people weren’t allowed to grow stuff on it, so subsistence farming was no longer a viable lifestyle. If you can’t do subsistence farming you must find a job, so then you go into the city and volunteer to do unskilled labor in a proto-factory for some guy who wants the least-skilled, cheapest labor possible. You move your whole family to where the work is, into the squalor, where conditions are overcrowded and impoverished — the perfect breeding ground for plague and death!”
Oh – and for a point of reference, the average wage in the mid 1400s was about 6 pennies a day – that equates to 130 modern pounds a day – compared to the current average in the UK of around 96 pounds per day.
5
Live Long and Prosper
People in the Middle Ages did (on average) prosper. And, contrary to popular belief, they also lived long! In general, a person in the Middle Ages who reached the age of 21 would live to just one or two years below the current average human life expectancy rate (mid-late sixties). Where the idea of dying at thirty came from, I do not know, but this myth has given rise to untold others, such as the “fact” the people had to marry in their early teen years (or worse – pre-teen years) because they would be dead before long. Infant mortality rates were higher than today, but, generally, people in the Middle Ages didn’t have on-demand access to the medical knowledge we have now. And, despite the death rates, most families had more children than today’s planned family structures, which could potentially result in a human population decline, as is already happening in some nations. Such nations include Italy and Russia (contrary to the bizarre and wrong notion that the Earth is overpopulated). Out of interest, here is a small list of countries currently in population decline: Russia, including Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Georgia, Armenia, Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, Germany, Hungary, and Italy. And here are nations about to go into decline: Greece, Spain, Cuba, Uruguay, Denmark, Finland, Austria and Lesotho.
4
Beauty
While a lot of people like modern art, many don’t. But most who do like it also appreciate the beauty of traditional art. In the Middle Ages virtually everyone in the West had access to at least one or two items of beauty. Whether it be a statue, or an image in a Church or beautiful tapestries made by family members – life was not a dull gray existence. Tapestry making was a popular pastime in the Middle Ages, and the survival of many of those works of art teaches us a lot about history (the Bayeux tapestry being the most well known example). And, even if you didn’t have access to tapestries or paintings, you could see some of the most incredible works of art in the vestments worn by priests at Mass every day, which were often woven with the addition of gold thread.
3
Knights And Damsels
I am pretty sure that no one will disagree with this entry. Who wouldn’t want to live the life of a knight? You get to run around slaying the enemy in battles, dressed in armor and riding huge warhorses – and when you get some time off you get to save damsels in distress; and if we are to believe the story books, there are plenty of those to go around! Knights only had to give 40 days a year to their lord – after that they would spend their days in tournaments (initially very dangerous battles, but later more like games and competitions). A young man would start his knight training early and would become a full fledged knight between the ages of 16 and 20.
2
Amazing Food
No genetically modified food, no chemicals, no intensive farming, no need for the “organic” label. These are just four of the many reasons that medieval food was better than what we have today. But, perhaps most importantly, none of the food had had its flavor bred out of it in order to make it look appealing to supermarket shopping masses. And, contrary to popular belief, people in the middle ages ate very well. Here is what BBC says: “The average medieval peasant, however, would have eaten nearly two loaves of bread each day, and 8oz of meat or fish, the size of an average steak. This would have been accompanied by liberal quantities of vegetables, including beans, turnips and parsnips, and washed down by three pints of ale.” That equates to around 3,500 to 4,000 calories per day (the average man eats 2,700 these days).
1
Plenty of Work
The Middle Ages didn’t really have unemployment troubles like we do these days. If you were a serf, you worked the land. If you were in the unnamed middle class, you ran a shop or worked for a Lord. If you were upper class, you had hunting and fun stuff to do. In most cities huge Cathedrals were being built so most men could work in some capacity on those. If you really couldn’t work, it was usually because you were sick or had disabilities. People who couldn’t work were taken care of by charitable nuns and monks – or by their own families if they had sufficient funds to do so.
First off, I must apologize for using the term “dark ages”, as it is a false term coined in the post-medieval period to cast aspersions over the middle ages. The dark ages were not dark – they were, in fact, a great time to live. I am a medievalphile, and suffer from hesternopothia so this list should come as no surprise! Here, we look at ten differences between then and now that are (subjectively of course) better than today. I expect this will probably be a controversial list, so do be sure to keep your comments friendly!
10
Low Tax
The tax rates in medieval England varied a lot, depending on the King and what was happening in society. The taxes seldom went above 15% but were more often closer to the 10% mark. For most people today this is nearly one third or half of the tax currently being paid. The taxes went to support the military and the King, and even in times of war the taxes were never excessive. Taxes were usually paid based on the quantity of land you owned, so people like serfs were often exempt from national taxes and paid, instead, tithes in the form (usually) of wheat to their land owners.
9
Great Lifestyle
We all know the Middle Ages had a more obvious separation of classes. However, regardless of which class you were in, you would have lived a better lifestyle. By “better” I mean healthier and easier. If you were an aristocrat you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. You would eat delicious food all the time, and would have plenty of activities to keep you occupied. On the other hand, if you were a serf, you would work your fields during the summer months and laze about during the winter months enjoying your harvests (after the taxes you pay to your land owner). The only real requirement as a serf was that you pay your tithes (usually in wheat) and do a few other odd jobs, but, aside from that, you could do anything you wanted with your land, and the land owner had to guarantee you protection from criminals and provide for you in times of famine. Some serfs became incredibly wealthy through the wise use of their land.
8
Crime
The middle ages knew roughly 5 serial killers. Most of you will be able to name three of them: Elizabeth Bathory, Gilled de Rais and Sawney Bean (who may not have existed at all). Now try to name as many serial killers from the modern ages that you know. A lot more I bet. There were definitely a lot of murders in the Middle Ages, but the chances of the average person being a victim of murder were low. Murderers were tried and executed, and those who committed petty crimes were usually publicly shamed or fined. The stories we hear of people’s hands being cut off for stealing were usually from Eastern countries, or were during the very early years of the Middle ages, when Europe was establishing itself into the formation we generally know it today.
7
No Lobbyists
Unlike most of our countries today, there were no lobbyists, and governments (mostly ruled over by Kings) were not prone to switching policies every other year. In our current system we can expect to see fairly drastic changes to the laws under which we live every few years – in the Middle ages you had the same law (with a few exceptions) for most of your life. Life under a benevolent King was good for law abiding citizens, and you knew that unless the King was old, sick, or off fighting a war, tomorrow would be the same as today. This stability is something most of us have never known, so it can be hard to appreciate how much better it was than the present systems which have given rise to all manner of bizarre ideas such as the fart tax.
6
Money was Money
Since the end of the gold standard, money has become more a concept than a reality. In the Middle Ages, money was money. If you had gold, you had gold. Today’s monetary systems are largely controlled by the International Monetary Fund, and the ability of a nation to print money on demand has caused the recent devaluation of many currencies. The old adage says money doesn’t grow on trees – but, unfortunately, modern governments don’t know it. Food prices were relatively constant (with the exception of times of famine and during the price revolution), and people didn’t need to spend half their income paying off debts for things they didn’t need. In fact, society took a great turn for the worse in the so-called renaissance, which started a smear campaign against the Medieval feudal system in order to gain support for the new capital-based system. An economy based on production was replaced by an economy based on how much gold the King released to the public. Here is a quote from Life Inc: How Corporatism Conquered the World, and How We Can Take It Back.
“Land was no longer a thing the peasants could grow stuff on, land became an investment, land became an asset class for the wealthy. Once it became an asset class they started Partitioning and Enclosure, which meant people weren’t allowed to grow stuff on it, so subsistence farming was no longer a viable lifestyle. If you can’t do subsistence farming you must find a job, so then you go into the city and volunteer to do unskilled labor in a proto-factory for some guy who wants the least-skilled, cheapest labor possible. You move your whole family to where the work is, into the squalor, where conditions are overcrowded and impoverished — the perfect breeding ground for plague and death!”
Oh – and for a point of reference, the average wage in the mid 1400s was about 6 pennies a day – that equates to 130 modern pounds a day – compared to the current average in the UK of around 96 pounds per day.
5
Live Long and Prosper
People in the Middle Ages did (on average) prosper. And, contrary to popular belief, they also lived long! In general, a person in the Middle Ages who reached the age of 21 would live to just one or two years below the current average human life expectancy rate (mid-late sixties). Where the idea of dying at thirty came from, I do not know, but this myth has given rise to untold others, such as the “fact” the people had to marry in their early teen years (or worse – pre-teen years) because they would be dead before long. Infant mortality rates were higher than today, but, generally, people in the Middle Ages didn’t have on-demand access to the medical knowledge we have now. And, despite the death rates, most families had more children than today’s planned family structures, which could potentially result in a human population decline, as is already happening in some nations. Such nations include Italy and Russia (contrary to the bizarre and wrong notion that the Earth is overpopulated). Out of interest, here is a small list of countries currently in population decline: Russia, including Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Georgia, Armenia, Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, Germany, Hungary, and Italy. And here are nations about to go into decline: Greece, Spain, Cuba, Uruguay, Denmark, Finland, Austria and Lesotho.
4
Beauty
While a lot of people like modern art, many don’t. But most who do like it also appreciate the beauty of traditional art. In the Middle Ages virtually everyone in the West had access to at least one or two items of beauty. Whether it be a statue, or an image in a Church or beautiful tapestries made by family members – life was not a dull gray existence. Tapestry making was a popular pastime in the Middle Ages, and the survival of many of those works of art teaches us a lot about history (the Bayeux tapestry being the most well known example). And, even if you didn’t have access to tapestries or paintings, you could see some of the most incredible works of art in the vestments worn by priests at Mass every day, which were often woven with the addition of gold thread.
3
Knights And Damsels
I am pretty sure that no one will disagree with this entry. Who wouldn’t want to live the life of a knight? You get to run around slaying the enemy in battles, dressed in armor and riding huge warhorses – and when you get some time off you get to save damsels in distress; and if we are to believe the story books, there are plenty of those to go around! Knights only had to give 40 days a year to their lord – after that they would spend their days in tournaments (initially very dangerous battles, but later more like games and competitions). A young man would start his knight training early and would become a full fledged knight between the ages of 16 and 20.
2
Amazing Food
No genetically modified food, no chemicals, no intensive farming, no need for the “organic” label. These are just four of the many reasons that medieval food was better than what we have today. But, perhaps most importantly, none of the food had had its flavor bred out of it in order to make it look appealing to supermarket shopping masses. And, contrary to popular belief, people in the middle ages ate very well. Here is what BBC says: “The average medieval peasant, however, would have eaten nearly two loaves of bread each day, and 8oz of meat or fish, the size of an average steak. This would have been accompanied by liberal quantities of vegetables, including beans, turnips and parsnips, and washed down by three pints of ale.” That equates to around 3,500 to 4,000 calories per day (the average man eats 2,700 these days).
1
Plenty of Work
The Middle Ages didn’t really have unemployment troubles like we do these days. If you were a serf, you worked the land. If you were in the unnamed middle class, you ran a shop or worked for a Lord. If you were upper class, you had hunting and fun stuff to do. In most cities huge Cathedrals were being built so most men could work in some capacity on those. If you really couldn’t work, it was usually because you were sick or had disabilities. People who couldn’t work were taken care of by charitable nuns and monks – or by their own families if they had sufficient funds to do so.
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