A Nun asked her class to write notes to God.
Here are some they handed in:
**********
Dear God :
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.
**********
Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?
**********
Dear God :
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.
**********
Dear God:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
**********
Dear God :
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.
**********
Dear God:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
**********
Dear God :
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
**********
Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
**********
Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
**********
Dear God:
Who draws the lines around the countries?
**********
Dear God :
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?
**********
Dear God:
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.
**********
Dear God:
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.
**********
Dear God:
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
**********
Dear God:
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
**********
Dear God:
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.
**********
Dear God :
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
**********
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
**********
Dear God :
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
**********
Dear God:
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.
**********
Dear God :
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.
*********************************
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Barber Shop!!!!!!!!!!!!
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2
hours."
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How
long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill,
do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't
ever come back."
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said,
"Your house!"
A Beautiful Story...........
An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you from here."
Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Top 10 Reasons We Should Revive the Dark Ages
First off, I must apologize for using the term “dark ages”, as it is a false term coined in the post-medieval period to cast aspersions over the middle ages. The dark ages were not dark – they were, in fact, a great time to live. I am a medievalphile, and suffer from hesternopothia so this list should come as no surprise! Here, we look at ten differences between then and now that are (subjectively of course) better than today. I expect this will probably be a controversial list, so do be sure to keep your comments friendly!
10
Low Tax
The tax rates in medieval England varied a lot, depending on the King and what was happening in society. The taxes seldom went above 15% but were more often closer to the 10% mark. For most people today this is nearly one third or half of the tax currently being paid. The taxes went to support the military and the King, and even in times of war the taxes were never excessive. Taxes were usually paid based on the quantity of land you owned, so people like serfs were often exempt from national taxes and paid, instead, tithes in the form (usually) of wheat to their land owners.
9
Great Lifestyle
We all know the Middle Ages had a more obvious separation of classes. However, regardless of which class you were in, you would have lived a better lifestyle. By “better” I mean healthier and easier. If you were an aristocrat you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. You would eat delicious food all the time, and would have plenty of activities to keep you occupied. On the other hand, if you were a serf, you would work your fields during the summer months and laze about during the winter months enjoying your harvests (after the taxes you pay to your land owner). The only real requirement as a serf was that you pay your tithes (usually in wheat) and do a few other odd jobs, but, aside from that, you could do anything you wanted with your land, and the land owner had to guarantee you protection from criminals and provide for you in times of famine. Some serfs became incredibly wealthy through the wise use of their land.
8
Crime
The middle ages knew roughly 5 serial killers. Most of you will be able to name three of them: Elizabeth Bathory, Gilled de Rais and Sawney Bean (who may not have existed at all). Now try to name as many serial killers from the modern ages that you know. A lot more I bet. There were definitely a lot of murders in the Middle Ages, but the chances of the average person being a victim of murder were low. Murderers were tried and executed, and those who committed petty crimes were usually publicly shamed or fined. The stories we hear of people’s hands being cut off for stealing were usually from Eastern countries, or were during the very early years of the Middle ages, when Europe was establishing itself into the formation we generally know it today.
7
No Lobbyists
Unlike most of our countries today, there were no lobbyists, and governments (mostly ruled over by Kings) were not prone to switching policies every other year. In our current system we can expect to see fairly drastic changes to the laws under which we live every few years – in the Middle ages you had the same law (with a few exceptions) for most of your life. Life under a benevolent King was good for law abiding citizens, and you knew that unless the King was old, sick, or off fighting a war, tomorrow would be the same as today. This stability is something most of us have never known, so it can be hard to appreciate how much better it was than the present systems which have given rise to all manner of bizarre ideas such as the fart tax.
6
Money was Money
Since the end of the gold standard, money has become more a concept than a reality. In the Middle Ages, money was money. If you had gold, you had gold. Today’s monetary systems are largely controlled by the International Monetary Fund, and the ability of a nation to print money on demand has caused the recent devaluation of many currencies. The old adage says money doesn’t grow on trees – but, unfortunately, modern governments don’t know it. Food prices were relatively constant (with the exception of times of famine and during the price revolution), and people didn’t need to spend half their income paying off debts for things they didn’t need. In fact, society took a great turn for the worse in the so-called renaissance, which started a smear campaign against the Medieval feudal system in order to gain support for the new capital-based system. An economy based on production was replaced by an economy based on how much gold the King released to the public. Here is a quote from Life Inc: How Corporatism Conquered the World, and How We Can Take It Back.
“Land was no longer a thing the peasants could grow stuff on, land became an investment, land became an asset class for the wealthy. Once it became an asset class they started Partitioning and Enclosure, which meant people weren’t allowed to grow stuff on it, so subsistence farming was no longer a viable lifestyle. If you can’t do subsistence farming you must find a job, so then you go into the city and volunteer to do unskilled labor in a proto-factory for some guy who wants the least-skilled, cheapest labor possible. You move your whole family to where the work is, into the squalor, where conditions are overcrowded and impoverished — the perfect breeding ground for plague and death!”
Oh – and for a point of reference, the average wage in the mid 1400s was about 6 pennies a day – that equates to 130 modern pounds a day – compared to the current average in the UK of around 96 pounds per day.
5
Live Long and Prosper
People in the Middle Ages did (on average) prosper. And, contrary to popular belief, they also lived long! In general, a person in the Middle Ages who reached the age of 21 would live to just one or two years below the current average human life expectancy rate (mid-late sixties). Where the idea of dying at thirty came from, I do not know, but this myth has given rise to untold others, such as the “fact” the people had to marry in their early teen years (or worse – pre-teen years) because they would be dead before long. Infant mortality rates were higher than today, but, generally, people in the Middle Ages didn’t have on-demand access to the medical knowledge we have now. And, despite the death rates, most families had more children than today’s planned family structures, which could potentially result in a human population decline, as is already happening in some nations. Such nations include Italy and Russia (contrary to the bizarre and wrong notion that the Earth is overpopulated). Out of interest, here is a small list of countries currently in population decline: Russia, including Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Georgia, Armenia, Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, Germany, Hungary, and Italy. And here are nations about to go into decline: Greece, Spain, Cuba, Uruguay, Denmark, Finland, Austria and Lesotho.
4
Beauty
While a lot of people like modern art, many don’t. But most who do like it also appreciate the beauty of traditional art. In the Middle Ages virtually everyone in the West had access to at least one or two items of beauty. Whether it be a statue, or an image in a Church or beautiful tapestries made by family members – life was not a dull gray existence. Tapestry making was a popular pastime in the Middle Ages, and the survival of many of those works of art teaches us a lot about history (the Bayeux tapestry being the most well known example). And, even if you didn’t have access to tapestries or paintings, you could see some of the most incredible works of art in the vestments worn by priests at Mass every day, which were often woven with the addition of gold thread.
3
Knights And Damsels
I am pretty sure that no one will disagree with this entry. Who wouldn’t want to live the life of a knight? You get to run around slaying the enemy in battles, dressed in armor and riding huge warhorses – and when you get some time off you get to save damsels in distress; and if we are to believe the story books, there are plenty of those to go around! Knights only had to give 40 days a year to their lord – after that they would spend their days in tournaments (initially very dangerous battles, but later more like games and competitions). A young man would start his knight training early and would become a full fledged knight between the ages of 16 and 20.
2
Amazing Food
No genetically modified food, no chemicals, no intensive farming, no need for the “organic” label. These are just four of the many reasons that medieval food was better than what we have today. But, perhaps most importantly, none of the food had had its flavor bred out of it in order to make it look appealing to supermarket shopping masses. And, contrary to popular belief, people in the middle ages ate very well. Here is what BBC says: “The average medieval peasant, however, would have eaten nearly two loaves of bread each day, and 8oz of meat or fish, the size of an average steak. This would have been accompanied by liberal quantities of vegetables, including beans, turnips and parsnips, and washed down by three pints of ale.” That equates to around 3,500 to 4,000 calories per day (the average man eats 2,700 these days).
1
Plenty of Work
The Middle Ages didn’t really have unemployment troubles like we do these days. If you were a serf, you worked the land. If you were in the unnamed middle class, you ran a shop or worked for a Lord. If you were upper class, you had hunting and fun stuff to do. In most cities huge Cathedrals were being built so most men could work in some capacity on those. If you really couldn’t work, it was usually because you were sick or had disabilities. People who couldn’t work were taken care of by charitable nuns and monks – or by their own families if they had sufficient funds to do so.
First off, I must apologize for using the term “dark ages”, as it is a false term coined in the post-medieval period to cast aspersions over the middle ages. The dark ages were not dark – they were, in fact, a great time to live. I am a medievalphile, and suffer from hesternopothia so this list should come as no surprise! Here, we look at ten differences between then and now that are (subjectively of course) better than today. I expect this will probably be a controversial list, so do be sure to keep your comments friendly!
10
Low Tax
The tax rates in medieval England varied a lot, depending on the King and what was happening in society. The taxes seldom went above 15% but were more often closer to the 10% mark. For most people today this is nearly one third or half of the tax currently being paid. The taxes went to support the military and the King, and even in times of war the taxes were never excessive. Taxes were usually paid based on the quantity of land you owned, so people like serfs were often exempt from national taxes and paid, instead, tithes in the form (usually) of wheat to their land owners.
9
Great Lifestyle
We all know the Middle Ages had a more obvious separation of classes. However, regardless of which class you were in, you would have lived a better lifestyle. By “better” I mean healthier and easier. If you were an aristocrat you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. You would eat delicious food all the time, and would have plenty of activities to keep you occupied. On the other hand, if you were a serf, you would work your fields during the summer months and laze about during the winter months enjoying your harvests (after the taxes you pay to your land owner). The only real requirement as a serf was that you pay your tithes (usually in wheat) and do a few other odd jobs, but, aside from that, you could do anything you wanted with your land, and the land owner had to guarantee you protection from criminals and provide for you in times of famine. Some serfs became incredibly wealthy through the wise use of their land.
8
Crime
The middle ages knew roughly 5 serial killers. Most of you will be able to name three of them: Elizabeth Bathory, Gilled de Rais and Sawney Bean (who may not have existed at all). Now try to name as many serial killers from the modern ages that you know. A lot more I bet. There were definitely a lot of murders in the Middle Ages, but the chances of the average person being a victim of murder were low. Murderers were tried and executed, and those who committed petty crimes were usually publicly shamed or fined. The stories we hear of people’s hands being cut off for stealing were usually from Eastern countries, or were during the very early years of the Middle ages, when Europe was establishing itself into the formation we generally know it today.
7
No Lobbyists
Unlike most of our countries today, there were no lobbyists, and governments (mostly ruled over by Kings) were not prone to switching policies every other year. In our current system we can expect to see fairly drastic changes to the laws under which we live every few years – in the Middle ages you had the same law (with a few exceptions) for most of your life. Life under a benevolent King was good for law abiding citizens, and you knew that unless the King was old, sick, or off fighting a war, tomorrow would be the same as today. This stability is something most of us have never known, so it can be hard to appreciate how much better it was than the present systems which have given rise to all manner of bizarre ideas such as the fart tax.
6
Money was Money
Since the end of the gold standard, money has become more a concept than a reality. In the Middle Ages, money was money. If you had gold, you had gold. Today’s monetary systems are largely controlled by the International Monetary Fund, and the ability of a nation to print money on demand has caused the recent devaluation of many currencies. The old adage says money doesn’t grow on trees – but, unfortunately, modern governments don’t know it. Food prices were relatively constant (with the exception of times of famine and during the price revolution), and people didn’t need to spend half their income paying off debts for things they didn’t need. In fact, society took a great turn for the worse in the so-called renaissance, which started a smear campaign against the Medieval feudal system in order to gain support for the new capital-based system. An economy based on production was replaced by an economy based on how much gold the King released to the public. Here is a quote from Life Inc: How Corporatism Conquered the World, and How We Can Take It Back.
“Land was no longer a thing the peasants could grow stuff on, land became an investment, land became an asset class for the wealthy. Once it became an asset class they started Partitioning and Enclosure, which meant people weren’t allowed to grow stuff on it, so subsistence farming was no longer a viable lifestyle. If you can’t do subsistence farming you must find a job, so then you go into the city and volunteer to do unskilled labor in a proto-factory for some guy who wants the least-skilled, cheapest labor possible. You move your whole family to where the work is, into the squalor, where conditions are overcrowded and impoverished — the perfect breeding ground for plague and death!”
Oh – and for a point of reference, the average wage in the mid 1400s was about 6 pennies a day – that equates to 130 modern pounds a day – compared to the current average in the UK of around 96 pounds per day.
5
Live Long and Prosper
People in the Middle Ages did (on average) prosper. And, contrary to popular belief, they also lived long! In general, a person in the Middle Ages who reached the age of 21 would live to just one or two years below the current average human life expectancy rate (mid-late sixties). Where the idea of dying at thirty came from, I do not know, but this myth has given rise to untold others, such as the “fact” the people had to marry in their early teen years (or worse – pre-teen years) because they would be dead before long. Infant mortality rates were higher than today, but, generally, people in the Middle Ages didn’t have on-demand access to the medical knowledge we have now. And, despite the death rates, most families had more children than today’s planned family structures, which could potentially result in a human population decline, as is already happening in some nations. Such nations include Italy and Russia (contrary to the bizarre and wrong notion that the Earth is overpopulated). Out of interest, here is a small list of countries currently in population decline: Russia, including Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Georgia, Armenia, Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, Germany, Hungary, and Italy. And here are nations about to go into decline: Greece, Spain, Cuba, Uruguay, Denmark, Finland, Austria and Lesotho.
4
Beauty
While a lot of people like modern art, many don’t. But most who do like it also appreciate the beauty of traditional art. In the Middle Ages virtually everyone in the West had access to at least one or two items of beauty. Whether it be a statue, or an image in a Church or beautiful tapestries made by family members – life was not a dull gray existence. Tapestry making was a popular pastime in the Middle Ages, and the survival of many of those works of art teaches us a lot about history (the Bayeux tapestry being the most well known example). And, even if you didn’t have access to tapestries or paintings, you could see some of the most incredible works of art in the vestments worn by priests at Mass every day, which were often woven with the addition of gold thread.
3
Knights And Damsels
I am pretty sure that no one will disagree with this entry. Who wouldn’t want to live the life of a knight? You get to run around slaying the enemy in battles, dressed in armor and riding huge warhorses – and when you get some time off you get to save damsels in distress; and if we are to believe the story books, there are plenty of those to go around! Knights only had to give 40 days a year to their lord – after that they would spend their days in tournaments (initially very dangerous battles, but later more like games and competitions). A young man would start his knight training early and would become a full fledged knight between the ages of 16 and 20.
2
Amazing Food
No genetically modified food, no chemicals, no intensive farming, no need for the “organic” label. These are just four of the many reasons that medieval food was better than what we have today. But, perhaps most importantly, none of the food had had its flavor bred out of it in order to make it look appealing to supermarket shopping masses. And, contrary to popular belief, people in the middle ages ate very well. Here is what BBC says: “The average medieval peasant, however, would have eaten nearly two loaves of bread each day, and 8oz of meat or fish, the size of an average steak. This would have been accompanied by liberal quantities of vegetables, including beans, turnips and parsnips, and washed down by three pints of ale.” That equates to around 3,500 to 4,000 calories per day (the average man eats 2,700 these days).
1
Plenty of Work
The Middle Ages didn’t really have unemployment troubles like we do these days. If you were a serf, you worked the land. If you were in the unnamed middle class, you ran a shop or worked for a Lord. If you were upper class, you had hunting and fun stuff to do. In most cities huge Cathedrals were being built so most men could work in some capacity on those. If you really couldn’t work, it was usually because you were sick or had disabilities. People who couldn’t work were taken care of by charitable nuns and monks – or by their own families if they had sufficient funds to do so.
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