Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver,
"Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest,
"Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results," shrugged Saint Peter....... ....
"While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A Mother's Sacrifice
My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school.
I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.
I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughingstock. Why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.
That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away.
Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.
Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me "What?! Who's this?!" ...It was my mother...Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank good ness... she doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
She wrote:
My son...
I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me.
I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were still young around me
I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.
My world shattered!!!
Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Top 10 Scientists Killed or Injured by Their Experiments
1. Karl Scheele -- Died from tasting his discoveries
Scheele was a brilliant pharmaceutical chemist who discovered many chemical elements, including oxygen (though Joseph Priestley published his findings first), molybdenum, tungsten, manganese, and chlorine. Scheele had the habit of taste-testing his discoveries, and died of symptoms strongly resembling mercury poisoning.
2. Jean-Francois De Rozier -- First victim of an air crash
De Rozier was a teacher of physics and chemistry. He took the first manned free flight in a balloon, traveling at an altitude of 3,000 feet. Later, De Rozier planned a crossing of the English Channel from France to England, but after reaching 1,500 feet the balloon deflated, causing him to fall to his death.
3. Sir David Brewster -- Nearly blinded
Sir David was a Scottish inventor, scientist, and writer. He performed a chemical experiment in 1831, which nearly blinded him. While his vision did return, he was plagued with eye troubles until his death. Brewster is well known for having been the inventor of the kaleidoscope.
4. Elizabeth Ascheim -- Killed by X-Rays
Elizabeth Ascheim gave up her job as a bookkeeper to undertake studies in electrical science. Eventually she bought an x-ray machine, and she and her husband spent some years experimenting with it, using themselves as subjects. Unfortunately they did not realize the consequences of their lack of protection and Elizabeth died of an extremely widespread and violent cancer.
5. Alexander Bogdanov -- Killed himself with blood
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5236140577038367170" />
Bogdanov was a Russian physician, philosopher, economist, science fiction writer, and revolutionary. In 1924, he began experiments with blood transfusion upon himself, but he did not test the health of the blood he was using. In 1928, Bogdanov took a transfusion of blood infected with malaria and tuberculosis, and died shortly after.
6. Robert Bunsen -- Blinded himself in one eye
Robert Bunsen is probably best known for having given his name to the Bunsen burner, which he helped to popularize. He started out his scientific career in organic chemistry, and nearly died twice of arsenic poisoning. Shortly after that, he lost the sight in his right eye after an explosion of cacodyl cyanide.
7. Sir Humphrey Davy -- A catalog of disasters
Sir Humphrey Davy, a brilliant British chemist and inventor, was fired from his job at an apothecary because he caused too many explosions! When he eventually took up the field of chemistry, he had a habit of inhaling the various gasses he was dealing with. This bad habit led to his discovery of the anesthetic properties of nitrous oxide; it also led to him nearly killing himself on many occasions. The frequent poisonings left him an invalid for the remaining two decades of his life. During this time he also permanently damaged his eyes in a nitrogen trichloride explosion.
8. Michael Faraday -- Suffered chronic poisoning
Thanks to the injury to Sir Humphrey Davy's eyes, Faraday became an apprentice to him. He went on to improve on Davy's methods of electrolysis and to make important discoveries in the field of electromagnetics. But like Davy, Faraday also suffered damage to his eyes in a nitrogen chloride explosion. He spent the remainder of his life suffering chronic chemical poisoning.
9. Marie Curie -- Died of radiation exposure
In 1898, Curie and her husband, Pierre, discovered radium. She spent the remainder of her life performing radiation research and studying radiation therapy. Her constant exposure to radiation led to her contracting leukemia and she died in 1934.
10. Galileo Galilei -- Blinded himself
Galileo's work on the refinement of the telescope opened up the dark recesses of the universe for future generations, but also ruined his eyesight. He was fascinated with the sun and spent many hours staring at it, leading to extreme damage to his retinas. This was the most likely cause of his near blindness in the last four years of his life.
11. Louis Slotin -- Killed himself with an accidental fission reaction
Canadian born Slotin worked on the Manhattan project, helping to design the first nuclear bomb. In the process of his experimentation he accidentally dropped a sphere of beryllium on to a second sphere, causing a prompt critical reaction (the spheres were wrapped around a plutonium core). Other scientists in the room witnessed a "blue glow" of air ionization and felt a "heat wave." Slotin was rushed to hospital and died nine days later. The amount of radiation he was exposed to was equivalent to standing 4,800 feet away from an atomic bomb explosion.
Source : http://listverse.com/science/top-10-scientists-killed-or-injured-by-their-experiments/
My Comments :
Life's too short to dwell on things
that pull and tear on your heart strings
so park those thoughts that make you worry
and create new goals to which you'll hurry.
Make your list of things to do
that always seemed not part of you
make yourself explore unknowns
write down your thoughts dig up those bones
Take a step toward things that scare you
Show who's boss while mind prepares to
overcome what seems unrealistic
before you lose it and go ballistic
Do something different every day
and watch as life shows new path ways
Life's too short to dwell on things
that pull and tear on your heart strings
Scheele was a brilliant pharmaceutical chemist who discovered many chemical elements, including oxygen (though Joseph Priestley published his findings first), molybdenum, tungsten, manganese, and chlorine. Scheele had the habit of taste-testing his discoveries, and died of symptoms strongly resembling mercury poisoning.
2. Jean-Francois De Rozier -- First victim of an air crash
De Rozier was a teacher of physics and chemistry. He took the first manned free flight in a balloon, traveling at an altitude of 3,000 feet. Later, De Rozier planned a crossing of the English Channel from France to England, but after reaching 1,500 feet the balloon deflated, causing him to fall to his death.
3. Sir David Brewster -- Nearly blinded
Sir David was a Scottish inventor, scientist, and writer. He performed a chemical experiment in 1831, which nearly blinded him. While his vision did return, he was plagued with eye troubles until his death. Brewster is well known for having been the inventor of the kaleidoscope.
4. Elizabeth Ascheim -- Killed by X-Rays
Elizabeth Ascheim gave up her job as a bookkeeper to undertake studies in electrical science. Eventually she bought an x-ray machine, and she and her husband spent some years experimenting with it, using themselves as subjects. Unfortunately they did not realize the consequences of their lack of protection and Elizabeth died of an extremely widespread and violent cancer.
5. Alexander Bogdanov -- Killed himself with blood
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5236140577038367170" />Bogdanov was a Russian physician, philosopher, economist, science fiction writer, and revolutionary. In 1924, he began experiments with blood transfusion upon himself, but he did not test the health of the blood he was using. In 1928, Bogdanov took a transfusion of blood infected with malaria and tuberculosis, and died shortly after.
6. Robert Bunsen -- Blinded himself in one eye
Robert Bunsen is probably best known for having given his name to the Bunsen burner, which he helped to popularize. He started out his scientific career in organic chemistry, and nearly died twice of arsenic poisoning. Shortly after that, he lost the sight in his right eye after an explosion of cacodyl cyanide.
7. Sir Humphrey Davy -- A catalog of disasters
Sir Humphrey Davy, a brilliant British chemist and inventor, was fired from his job at an apothecary because he caused too many explosions! When he eventually took up the field of chemistry, he had a habit of inhaling the various gasses he was dealing with. This bad habit led to his discovery of the anesthetic properties of nitrous oxide; it also led to him nearly killing himself on many occasions. The frequent poisonings left him an invalid for the remaining two decades of his life. During this time he also permanently damaged his eyes in a nitrogen trichloride explosion.
8. Michael Faraday -- Suffered chronic poisoning
Thanks to the injury to Sir Humphrey Davy's eyes, Faraday became an apprentice to him. He went on to improve on Davy's methods of electrolysis and to make important discoveries in the field of electromagnetics. But like Davy, Faraday also suffered damage to his eyes in a nitrogen chloride explosion. He spent the remainder of his life suffering chronic chemical poisoning.
9. Marie Curie -- Died of radiation exposure
In 1898, Curie and her husband, Pierre, discovered radium. She spent the remainder of her life performing radiation research and studying radiation therapy. Her constant exposure to radiation led to her contracting leukemia and she died in 1934.
10. Galileo Galilei -- Blinded himself
Galileo's work on the refinement of the telescope opened up the dark recesses of the universe for future generations, but also ruined his eyesight. He was fascinated with the sun and spent many hours staring at it, leading to extreme damage to his retinas. This was the most likely cause of his near blindness in the last four years of his life.
11. Louis Slotin -- Killed himself with an accidental fission reaction
Canadian born Slotin worked on the Manhattan project, helping to design the first nuclear bomb. In the process of his experimentation he accidentally dropped a sphere of beryllium on to a second sphere, causing a prompt critical reaction (the spheres were wrapped around a plutonium core). Other scientists in the room witnessed a "blue glow" of air ionization and felt a "heat wave." Slotin was rushed to hospital and died nine days later. The amount of radiation he was exposed to was equivalent to standing 4,800 feet away from an atomic bomb explosion.
Source : http://listverse.com/science/top-10-scientists-killed-or-injured-by-their-experiments/
My Comments :
Life's too short to dwell on things
that pull and tear on your heart strings
so park those thoughts that make you worry
and create new goals to which you'll hurry.
Make your list of things to do
that always seemed not part of you
make yourself explore unknowns
write down your thoughts dig up those bones
Take a step toward things that scare you
Show who's boss while mind prepares to
overcome what seems unrealistic
before you lose it and go ballistic
Do something different every day
and watch as life shows new path ways
Life's too short to dwell on things
that pull and tear on your heart strings
Monday, August 18, 2008
WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, “This Is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are Received.” I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.” I noticed again, how busy it was. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section”, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. “How is it that there is no work going on here?” I asked. ”So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.”
“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?” I asked. “Simple,” the angel answered. Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked. “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy. And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”
“Also, if you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 700 million people in the world. If you can attend a church/temple/mosque without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.”
“If your parents are still alive and still married, you are very rare. If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.”
Ok, what now? How can I start?
“If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good year ahead, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
ATTN:
Acknowledge Dept.: “Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.”
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.” I noticed again, how busy it was. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section”, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. “How is it that there is no work going on here?” I asked. ”So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.”
“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?” I asked. “Simple,” the angel answered. Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked. “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy. And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”
“Also, if you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 700 million people in the world. If you can attend a church/temple/mosque without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.”
“If your parents are still alive and still married, you are very rare. If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.”
Ok, what now? How can I start?
“If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good year ahead, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
ATTN:
Acknowledge Dept.: “Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.”
One Liners
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may
never piss this way again."
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may
never piss this way again."
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
Santa
Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa thinks "how poetic"
Santa says, "pass the custard you bastard".
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Preeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.
Preeto : If it looks like you, it would be a miracle
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa thinks "how poetic"
Santa says, "pass the custard you bastard".
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Preeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.
Preeto : If it looks like you, it would be a miracle
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Would you walk on this ?
Glass Bridge will be suspended 4,000 feet above the Colorado River on the very edge of the Grand Canyon .
On May 2005, the final test was conducted and the structure passed engineering requirements by 400 percent, enabling it to withstand the weight of 71 fully loaded Boeing 747 airplanes (more that 71 million pounds).
The bridge will be able to sustain winds in excess of 100 miles per hour from 8 different directions, as well as an 8.0 magnitude earthquake within 50 miles.
More than one million pounds of steel will go into the construction of the Grand Canyon SkyWalk.
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