Sardar ji says I love u to his girl friend and suddenly falls on the floor.
Girl Friend: What is this?
Sardarji: O ji, I'm falling in love!
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast
Monday, September 1, 2008
12 Things You May Not Know About the Nobel Prizes
Here are some curious facts about the Nobel Prizes, the recipients, and the non-recipients that may challenge your knowledge.
1. Technically, the prize awarded in Economics is not a Nobel Prize, as it was not specified in Alfred Nobel's will. It has been nicknamed the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics, and is selected by the same committee that selects the physics and chemistry prizes, but has only been awarded since 1969. It is award in memory of Alfred Nobel.
2. Nomination records are sealed for fifty years, and except for "leaks" in the process, the nominees are not publicly acknowledged. Agents and publicists will often tout a person's nomination, but until the records are unsealed fifty years later, there is no way to confirm or deny this.
3. Nominations for the Nobel Prizes can only be made for living persons. However, should a person die after their nomination, they can still be awarded a Nobel Prize. This has occurred two times, most recently in 1961 when Dag Hammarskjöld, Secretary-General of the United Nations, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize posthumously, after dying in a plane crash in Africa.
4. Provided that the individual is living at the time of the nomination, anyone can be nominated. Incredulously, Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Joseph Stalin were all nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize!
5. Amazingly, the person probably most likely to have deserved the Nobel Peace Prize was never awarded one. Mohandas "Mahatma" Gandhi, Indian leader who advocated non-violence in the struggle for Indian independence from colonial rule, never won the award. He was nominated five times, but failed each time. He was assassinated just two days before the nominations for the 1948 prize were due, which, since he was deceased, disqualified him from the nomination and, therefore, the prize.
The Nobel Peace Prize Committee considered selecting Gandhi for the award in spite of the rules, but because he left no legal heirs, they were not sure of who to award the prize to. Instead, the committee elected to withhold the award that year, stating that "there was no suitable living candidate" for the award, a clear reference to the recently-deceased Gandhi.
6. Winning a Nobel Prize will bring lasting fame throughout one's lifetime. Pity poor William Vickrey, who, just 3 days after being selected for the 1996 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics, was found slumped over the steering wheel of his car, dead of an apparent heart attack.
7. Some prizes are awarded to technology that on later review just doesn't seem to pan out. Consider Antonio Moniz's 1949 Nobel Prize in Medicine for leukotomy, the brain-altering operation that was the forerunner of pre-frontal lobotomies.
8. Likewise, the award given to Johannes Fibiger wasn't very prescient. His 1926 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was for discovering that parasites had caused cancerous tumors in laboratory mice, prompting many to believe a cure for cancer was just around the corner. The trouble was, upon further review, the tumors were caused by simple vitamin deficiencies.
9. Julius Wagner von Jauregg won the 1927 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for his discovery that, by purposely injecting syphilitic patients with fever-causing malaria, the patients were sometimes cured. Sometimes, however, the malaria cure was as bad as the original illness.
10. Not all Nobel Peace Prize recipients have backgrounds in diplomacy or political science. For example, the 1970 winner, Norman Borlaug, won for his efforts in plant pathology/genetics which led to better worldwide food supplies, and, so the argument went, a more peaceful world.
11. The United Nations' Peacekeeping forces have won the Nobel Peace Prize, even though rapes, bribery, bullying, and other crimes have been allegedly committed by the so-called peace keepers.
12. At least one Nobel Peace Prize recipient has admitted to embellishing her autobiography, which had obviously helped her to win the prize. Rigoberta Menchú, native of Guatemala and 1992 recipient, acknowledged making changes in her autobiography I, Rigoberta Menchú that details atrocities performed by guerrilla forces in her native Guatemala. While her cause is just, her augmentation of her background, exposed by researcher David Stoll, has given a black eye to her cause. In an effort to ease the situation, the Nobel Prize committee has since declared that her award was not based solely on her autobiography, but on the aggregate of her efforts.
1. Technically, the prize awarded in Economics is not a Nobel Prize, as it was not specified in Alfred Nobel's will. It has been nicknamed the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics, and is selected by the same committee that selects the physics and chemistry prizes, but has only been awarded since 1969. It is award in memory of Alfred Nobel.
2. Nomination records are sealed for fifty years, and except for "leaks" in the process, the nominees are not publicly acknowledged. Agents and publicists will often tout a person's nomination, but until the records are unsealed fifty years later, there is no way to confirm or deny this.
3. Nominations for the Nobel Prizes can only be made for living persons. However, should a person die after their nomination, they can still be awarded a Nobel Prize. This has occurred two times, most recently in 1961 when Dag Hammarskjöld, Secretary-General of the United Nations, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize posthumously, after dying in a plane crash in Africa.
4. Provided that the individual is living at the time of the nomination, anyone can be nominated. Incredulously, Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Joseph Stalin were all nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize!
5. Amazingly, the person probably most likely to have deserved the Nobel Peace Prize was never awarded one. Mohandas "Mahatma" Gandhi, Indian leader who advocated non-violence in the struggle for Indian independence from colonial rule, never won the award. He was nominated five times, but failed each time. He was assassinated just two days before the nominations for the 1948 prize were due, which, since he was deceased, disqualified him from the nomination and, therefore, the prize.
The Nobel Peace Prize Committee considered selecting Gandhi for the award in spite of the rules, but because he left no legal heirs, they were not sure of who to award the prize to. Instead, the committee elected to withhold the award that year, stating that "there was no suitable living candidate" for the award, a clear reference to the recently-deceased Gandhi.
6. Winning a Nobel Prize will bring lasting fame throughout one's lifetime. Pity poor William Vickrey, who, just 3 days after being selected for the 1996 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics, was found slumped over the steering wheel of his car, dead of an apparent heart attack.
7. Some prizes are awarded to technology that on later review just doesn't seem to pan out. Consider Antonio Moniz's 1949 Nobel Prize in Medicine for leukotomy, the brain-altering operation that was the forerunner of pre-frontal lobotomies.
8. Likewise, the award given to Johannes Fibiger wasn't very prescient. His 1926 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was for discovering that parasites had caused cancerous tumors in laboratory mice, prompting many to believe a cure for cancer was just around the corner. The trouble was, upon further review, the tumors were caused by simple vitamin deficiencies.
9. Julius Wagner von Jauregg won the 1927 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for his discovery that, by purposely injecting syphilitic patients with fever-causing malaria, the patients were sometimes cured. Sometimes, however, the malaria cure was as bad as the original illness.
10. Not all Nobel Peace Prize recipients have backgrounds in diplomacy or political science. For example, the 1970 winner, Norman Borlaug, won for his efforts in plant pathology/genetics which led to better worldwide food supplies, and, so the argument went, a more peaceful world.
11. The United Nations' Peacekeeping forces have won the Nobel Peace Prize, even though rapes, bribery, bullying, and other crimes have been allegedly committed by the so-called peace keepers.
12. At least one Nobel Peace Prize recipient has admitted to embellishing her autobiography, which had obviously helped her to win the prize. Rigoberta Menchú, native of Guatemala and 1992 recipient, acknowledged making changes in her autobiography I, Rigoberta Menchú that details atrocities performed by guerrilla forces in her native Guatemala. While her cause is just, her augmentation of her background, exposed by researcher David Stoll, has given a black eye to her cause. In an effort to ease the situation, the Nobel Prize committee has since declared that her award was not based solely on her autobiography, but on the aggregate of her efforts.
The Japanese have always loved fresh fish.
But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.
So to feed the Japanese population,
Fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.
To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.
They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.
The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.
After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving.
They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.
Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.
So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks.
But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.
Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull,
So we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?
Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and lively.....
But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.
So to feed the Japanese population,
Fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.
To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.
They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.
The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.
After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving.
They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.
Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.
So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks.
But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.
Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull,
So we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?
Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and lively.....
Thursday, August 28, 2008
English Spelling Mistake and their effects
TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:
"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband.
At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.
Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.
The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says:
Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".
The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"
The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.
The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".
************ ***
TELEGRAM #5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi .
When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.
He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written:
'Sethji aaj mar ! Gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye )
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:
"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband.
At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.
Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
************ ***
TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.
The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says:
Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".
The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"
The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.
The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".
************ ***
TELEGRAM #5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi .
When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.
He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written:
'Sethji aaj mar ! Gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye )
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------ --------- --------- ----
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For instruktions, see bottom applikason.
************ *
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
4. Sex: ____ (Laloo) _____ (Rabri)
************ *
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
************ *
6.Occupason:
(_) Dacoit (_) Rapeist (_) Kidanapper (_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan
(_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
************ *
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
************ *
8. Read #7 agan & anser here: ___
************ *
9. Mather name: ____________ _________ __
************ *
10. Phather Name: ____________ ________ (don't leave bank for guesh)
************ *
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 ............ .. (Circle highest grade completed)
************ *
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish- ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
-__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
************ *
14. Ice seight:
(_) One Ice(2x1) (_) Two Ice(2x2) (_) Half blind (_) Day blind (_)
Night blind (_) 4/4 (_)6/6
************ *
15.Your thumb imparesson :
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
************ *
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you don't have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
------------ --------- --------- ----
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For instruktions, see bottom applikason.
************ *
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
************ *
4. Sex: ____ (Laloo) _____ (Rabri)
************ *
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
************ *
6.Occupason:
(_) Dacoit (_) Rapeist (_) Kidanapper (_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan
(_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
************ *
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
************ *
8. Read #7 agan & anser here: ___
************ *
9. Mather name: ____________ _________ __
************ *
10. Phather Name: ____________ ________ (don't leave bank for guesh)
************ *
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 ............ .. (Circle highest grade completed)
************ *
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish- ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
-__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
************ *
14. Ice seight:
(_) One Ice(2x1) (_) Two Ice(2x2) (_) Half blind (_) Day blind (_)
Night blind (_) 4/4 (_)6/6
************ *
15.Your thumb imparesson :
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
************ *
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you don't have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hospital Charts
These are actual writings from various hospital charts.
1.The patient refused an autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5 Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
1.The patient refused an autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5 Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Monday, August 25, 2008
A tribute to my father
My father was one of the most important people in my entire life. There was no one like him so I wanted to dedicate a memorial to him on this particular page. For those who have experienced loss, there isn't much you can do except remember the good times and carry that person's spirit in your heart. I hope all the net people can appreciate me doing this. I'm mainly putting this here for people who have lost a loved one, and also so I can remind myself of the goodness in this man
My father was an all-rounder, who excelled in almost everything he undertook.
I'd like to share a quote that my Dad used to always tell me "Be Good and Do Good"
I LOVE YOU DAD!
-------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people move our souls to dance
They awaken us to new understanding
With the passing whisper of their wisdom...
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never, ever the same again....
-------
Appa, I learnt a lot about life from you and you will continue to be our inspiration and guiding star in every single step we take. We really miss you!!!
My father was an all-rounder, who excelled in almost everything he undertook.
I'd like to share a quote that my Dad used to always tell me "Be Good and Do Good"
I LOVE YOU DAD!
-------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people move our souls to dance
They awaken us to new understanding
With the passing whisper of their wisdom...
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never, ever the same again....
-------
Appa, I learnt a lot about life from you and you will continue to be our inspiration and guiding star in every single step we take. We really miss you!!!
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